Markov Models for Ruining Your Weekend: A Comparative Study

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American’s capability to ruin their own weekends has been struggling over the last two decades. Through changing demographics, young and middle aged Americans have been shifting to ways of life where weekends are so enjoyable that many do not prefer to work 50-60 hour weeks at the office. The record number of young professionals failing to come to the office more exhausted and stressed out keeps growing. If nothing changes, the antacid market will fail by the year 2026! This paper provides three novel Markov models which have the potential to ruin your weekend leaving you more exhausted and stressed out than when it began on Friday afternoon. These models will be evaluated through Physical Exhaustion in Inverse-Sabbath units, Chores Avoided, and Existential Dread in Sunday Scaries.